Collin . . . Collin . . . Collin

Collin - The destructer. 

What to do with this child????  

The other day I walked into my bedroom to find Collin and Benjamin covered head to toe with lotion along with it all over my bedspread.  Collin opened it and then Ben joined in, although Ben just wanted to lotion his legs.  As I wrestle with Collin to give me back the lotion bottle Benjamin just sat there rubbing his legs telling me all about how he had to lotion his legs (slowly, stuttering, and in great detail.)  

I walked into the kitchen one day to find Collin and Benjamin on the counter, in the spice cabinet, pouring salt all over the stove.  Benjamin just follows whatever hair-brained idea his brother comes up with.  (fun)

  

I came home from my mom's house with my bag of cookie baking supplies because I went over there last Sunday to bake.  My fault for not putting my stuff away because Collin climbed up on the table, went in my bag, took out the baking powder, and poured it all over the kitchen.

Yesterday he was nice enough to crap in the tub.  Love fishing for turds.

Later in the day I suddenly become aware of how hot it was in the house.  Guess who turned up the heat in the house to 90'.  You guessed it ...  Collin.  This is one of his favorite things to do.  It's super fun coming home to a house that is like 100' because nobody was home to notice it.

If Benjamin is sitting at the table eating and see's Collin walk into the kitchen he immediately pulls his plate to his lap and starts yelling, "NO COLLIN NO!"  because he knows Collin's next move is to climb on the table, take his plate, through his food on the floor, and laugh.

Don't lay on the floor because he'll think you want to start wrestling and come jump on your head.

Don't leave the vacuum out because he'll take the attachments out and start beating his brothers with them.

Don't leave the bathroom door open because he'll TP the house, stick his hands in the toilet, empty out the drawers, climb in the sink and try to rip the mirror off the wall, and then leave with the toilet brush.  This is great because then he'll come and try to brush your hair with it.  (yummy)

You can try to strap him in but he'll figure a way out, you can try to gate him off but he'll climb out over it, you can try to close the door but he'll figure out how to open it.  

Go ahead and try to stop the kid, you can't.  He's like a kid x10.  My mom didn't believe me when I said this.  "He's not really that bad."  I reply, "Mom, he is that bad.  You just don't notice because Jason and I are always buffering for him.  Holding him back and trying to anticipate his next move."  So then we went to her house and I decided not to buffer.  I just sat on her couch playing Words With Friends and let him go.  After about 10 minutes there was yogurt all over her kitchen table with little foot prints in it, granola all over the floor, and Collin literally trying to hang from the chandelier.  Then she looked at me and said, "ok. ok. maybe your right.  You shouldn't buffer so much because people don't believe you when you talk about him."  Yah.  Like that's an option.  Let's just let the kid loose.  AHHHHH.  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.  HE'S COMING!!!

But with all this going on you can't stay made at him for long (if at all sometimes).  He does none of it with malice in his heart.  He is the happiest baby you'll ever meet.  Smiling and laughing the whole time.  This is just his idea of a good time.