Wardrobe Malfunction

The Belly Belt...

Let me tell you about the Belly Belt.  It's a great little invention that allows pregnant women to wear their non-maternity pants.  It works like this.  You pick your piece of elastic, thread it through the piece of fabric that best matches your outfit, attach the button in the button hole and visa versa, and make sure the piece of fabric is tucked INSIDE your pants.  Fabulous invention.  Really it is.  As long as you use as directed.

Not so fabulous when your walking around the store with the piece of fabric hanging out of the zipper part of your pants and your husband says, "I think your thing might not be on right".  You respond without looking down, "No, that's how it's suppose to be.  The zipper doesn't go up." And then he responds back to you totally straight faced, "ok".  And you go on shopping.  Finish your shopping.  Load up your van.  Argue with your husband about how to fit the 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag (a.k.a everything you just bought into your van).  Have the cart guy stare at you and pace around you waiting for you to give him your cart.  Get in your car.  Drive to the nearest Starbucks.  Get out of your van and catch a reflection of yourself in the store front window.  All the sudden you realize that you have what appears to be a hanky hanging out of the zipper of your pants.  What would you do?

Me...  Well, I started laughing so hard I was crying.  I turned around and walked back to Jason waiting in the van.  I did this for 2 reasons.  1. To put the hanky back in my pants as discreetly as possible. And 2. To ask him WHY?  Why would you let me walk around with a hanky poking out of my zipper?  Why would you take my answer at face value and not ask me to look into the matter just a little more?  AND How could you not have noticed? 

Then on our way home we are talking about how great it is to shop in McHenry.  It's not that far away and the people are really nice.  Except the cart guy just pacing around waiting for our cart.  I said I do understand a little bit.  Obviously not everything was right upstairs with him.  Jason reminds me that maybe he was thinking the same thing about us.  A husband and wife arguing about how to load their van while the pregnant wife is walking around with a hanky sticking out of her zipper.  He was probably just wondering what the appropriate way and time was to interject, "Excuse me, mamm.  I think you may need to fix your pants."  To which I would have responded without looking down, "No, It's just my Belly Belt."