Crap, Crap, and more Crap! The story of my life.

All over mom's house!

I swear I'm not making this up!  I couldn't if I tried.

I'm talking to my mom on the phone today and Riley brings me over her permission slip to take a train ride with her class.  On the permission slip is a big hot steamy pile of poo!  I start yelling, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!  NASTY!!!"  Plus probably some other words to.  My mom is on the other line laughing, "I'm sorry.  I know you have to go, but you've got to tell me what is going on over there."  Me, "COLLIN JUST CRAPPED ALL OVER RILEY'S PERMISSION SLIP!"  More laughter from the other end of the phone.  Thankfully he pooped on the description part, not the part we're suppose to send back to school.  How lucky for us...

So then Ben comes up to me, "Mom, Collin crapped on the benches in the kitchen."  Me, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  OUR NEW BENCHES THAT WE JUST MADE NOT EVEN A WEEK AGO!  OH LOOK, IT'S GETS BETTER, CRAP ON THE WALL.  THAT'S RIGHT.  HE WIPED HIS ASS ON MY WALL!"  More laughter from the other end of the phone.  Not sure why I kept her on the phone.  Maybe it felt good to have another adult at least hear me going through this.

Clean that up, then...  Ben again, "Mom, There's crap on the floor."  Now I know I should be telling my kids that crap is a bad word, but when you going something like this sometimes you just need to hear the word "crap" come out of a 3 year old's mouth.  More laughter from the other end of the phone.  She was crying she was laughing so hard.

Clean that up, then... Wyatt, "Mom, Collin has crap by his eye."  I thought my mom was going to loose it at this one.  I go over there, wipe his face off and tell my mom, "Could be crap?  Could be peanut butter?  What ever...  It's off him now."

This is not the first time he's done this.  Our 1 year old is now potty training himself, although he doesn't seem to ever use the toilet.  The kid won't go in a diaper anymore.  Tells me he has to pee, goes to the bathroom, and pees all over the floor because he can't reach the toilet.  Can't use a gate or a lock to fix this problem.  I'm pretty sure Collin would even be a challenge for Super Nanny.

I told my mom, "If your ever feeling bad about your life, just call me.  I'm pretty sure that I will have something going on over here that will trump whatever you are going through."  She agreed.